So I know my last 2 posts ( Being ReMade — part 1 Being ReMade – part 2 ) promised part 3, but this isn’t it-sorry! Actually I wish it was, because that would be a little less vulnerable than what I think this post will be.
I just don’t have those words for part 3 on paper yet, although I’m trying. I promise it is coming…just waiting for my heart and the words in my head to mesh…
On to Weathering The Storm. I know most of us have heard this phrase. It can be certainly thought of with the devasting flooding in Baton Rouge and every time a tornado hits here in the midwest! (we are currently in the States for a few months).
In other ways we can think of weathering the storm in reference to hardships, stress and obstacles as well. This is more what I have been mulling over for a while.
Then I saw something on TV that I thought perfectly portrayed this idea in real life.
Now I need to admit something that makes me feel quite vulnerable and somewhat awkward.
I like to watch UFC.
Are you familiar with UFC? If not that’s ok. Basically it’s fighting. It’s not just boxing though. It’s MMA, which means mixed martial arts. So they wrestle and kick and box. It’s a little crazy and I’m still not sure I am ok with the fact that I like it! ha.
I did come by it in an honest way. In the States, this is on pay-per-view so I had never seen it. In India, though, its free to watch with regular cable subscriptions. So a few years ago when it began to show on TV, we would watch it with our oldest son as something we could do together with him after our youngest went to bed. (the TV choices were very limited!)
I couldn’t stand it at first. It was horrible to me. I kept trying to be ok with it because I wanted to have the one on one time with our son.
Then I learned a little jujitsu (one of the fighting styles they use) when I was in a defensive training class and I saw how technical these moves were and I could understand better the why and the how behind everything (well not everything, but a lot more than I had before). Kinda like when I learned to play the violin in 5th grade for all of maybe 3 days before I gave it up. I realized how hard it is to play that thing, so now whenever I see someone play, I am in awe and really appreciate it.
I know that violin playing and UFC are far apart, but the reason for my appreciation of this sport and the ability to play that instrument comes from the same place. That place has a lot to do with understand the how’s behind things.
That is definitely how I am wired. I like to understand the whys and hows of things.
This might seem like a tangent, but stick with me for a minute…
You know those big windmills (or wind turbines I guess is the proper name) that cover open fields and make those fields into ‘wind farms’? These:
I can’t stand those. I think they ruin the landscape and make the beautiful rolling fields ugly. I have a friend that thinks they are beautiful and seem ‘peaceful’ even. Ever since she said this I’ve been trying to figure out why I can’t just like them.
I figured out that I can’t like them because I don’t understand them.
How can they ALL (like 50 of them) be turning at the same exact speed in the same exact direction? Wind isn’t that consistent. Some would be moving faster or slower, there’s no way they would be in unison. Then, how can one be turning fast and the one next to it not even moving? If there’s wind they would all be turning at least a little bit. Those are just a couple of my questions and why they don’t make sense to me.
So as we are driving and encounter these ‘wind farms’ all I can do is look at them and try to find the logic and try to make them make sense to me, but they just don’t.
So back to UFC. That’s why I can watch it more now and actually appreciate it, because I understand it.
Last weekend there was a big UFC fight. It was between Nate Diaz and Connor McGregor. Both of these guys are big talkers and there was a lot of trash talking before the fight and it made good media for the UFC and probably some of it was staged, if not most of it.
There was a lot of hype going into this fight. As they started to fight, one of the announcers said that if McGregor can ‘weather the storm of Diaz’ then he had a good chance to win the fight. Diaz started to get the best of McGregor and he was really going after him as the announcers repeated this…’if McGregor can weather this storm then he will win.’
That stuck with me. Weather the storm. I started to mull over that statement.
Then we had a road trip and as we drove and I saw those pesky windmills again. As I was staring at them, because although I think they are ugly I can’t take my eyes off of them, I kinda dawned on me that for me weathering the storm and understanding the whys and hows go together.
I am not good at weathering storms that I don’t understand. I am not good at liking anything I don’t understand, really.
I know that’s why I buried myself in anything that could help me understand the Indian culture. Either consciously or in my sub-conscience (I’m not sure which!) I knew that the sooner I understood their culture better, the more I would enjoy being there.
I see that this can pose quite a problem though. Many times I don’t understand the storms we go through and so I can’t weather the storm well. Sure I can weather the storm, just because it will probably eventually pass with time, but weathering it well is a whole different story I think. I can’t see the end and we barely understand the beginning. So how can I get to a place where I can weather storms well that I don’t understand and probably don’t have a way to understand during it?
Honestly that’s usually very difficult for me. I’ve had some tough stuff happen, that to this day doesn’t make sense. How is that reconciled?
I don’t really think I have all the answers. I know the answers will involve trust…faith… and other things like that, but honestly just understanding (here we go again…) that I have a hard time weathering storms because I don’t understand the why and hows helps a lot! Now I can stop and realize that I feel overwhelmed or even paralyzed just simply because I don’t understand. It’s not because of a lack of anything in me or in Who I trust, its just in how my mind works and so I have to realize this and work through it.
I don’t want to stay in this place though and constantly have to work through this. I want to learn to weather storms well whether I understand them or not… and be remade in that…. 🙂
…promise part 3 is next…